Monday, April 07, 2008
As i was waiting to sign up for summer classes, I suddenly felt this strange realization wash over me. For the first time in my life i felt that I was nearing a beginning accompanied by a tangible finale. I have always gone out on a limb, fumbling through whatever life hurls at me. I'm sure my life is fairly easy going compared to those who hold the world on their shoulders. I know you never asked for it; maybe you did. I was hoping I would fade into nihilistic obscurity. What's one more forgotten casualty in society? Thoughts are a dime a dozen and mine are merely inferior. Were merely inferior. Were not at all inferior. Applying myself to something and believing in myself has always been my weakest suit. I can see that residue stained all over every mediocre accomplishment and failure in my life. I have grown tired of that bullshit. I'm leaving that to those who actually deserve to fade away and not be heard. That realization parted the sea that was flooding my mind and it was epic. It cleared away all of my doubts. Funny How ones own perspective on life can change in just one instant, yet it takes time to actually finalize those life changing moments. " I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real." "And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd."